If Only They'd Told Me Podcast

In a reprise of one of their most popular podcasts, Nat and Jacqui are in the studio checking in on each other's New Year's Resolutions.

With only a few months to go until 2014, they still believe, it's never too late!  How are your 2013 goals coming along and what do you want to focus on in the remaining months?

What are you going to keep doing? stop doing? and start doing?

Related Posts:

Direct download: 74_Resolutions_Revisted.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:56pm +12

Ever wonder what it's like for an 'at home dad'? This week you can get a sneak peek into the life of an at home dad. Nat chats with Geoff Pitts about bringing up the boys, his role-model dad and play date etiquette.

Related Episodes:

Direct download: 73_Stay_at_home_Dad.mp3
Category:Home Life -- posted at: 8:08pm +12

Being prepared for an emergency is more than having a half-pie emergency kit in the garage somewhere. It's about stocking that kit, creating a grab bag and having a plan for if the 'what if' becomes a reality.  In this podcast, Nat shares her personal experience from the Christchurch earthquake and gives tips on what to keep in your kit, tweaks to make to your home and having a plan like who will get which kid and where will you meet...

  • Emergency Kit:  Food, Water & Shelter (plus more)
  • Family Plan: Which exit, which child and where will you meet?
  • Tweaks to home & habits: Move your mirrors, clear your exits

Direct download: Is_Your_Family_Prepared_for_an_Emergency.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:24pm +12

Jacqui catches up with friend Claire Ward about 'How to be a Happy Stay At Home Mum'

Claire shares her tips and anecdotes like the feeling of going around in circles and having a no visitor ban for the first few weeks.

She also gives some tips including

  • take the pram out
  • mix it up
  • have a shower & do make up every morning or whatever makes you feel great

Related posts:

Direct download: 71_How_to_be_a_Happy_Stay_at_Home_Mum.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:26pm +12

Have you always wanted your family to be a bit more eco-savvy but not sure where to start?

Fret not, because in this podcast, Nat chats with NZ Ecochick Madeleine Booth-Smits about how to have an eco family. 

Things like:

  1. Use cloth
  2. Cook from scratch
  3. Glass everything
  4. Conscious consumerism

Have a listen and a laugh with this podcast full of tips and inspiration.

xo Nat


Direct download: 70_How_to_have_an_eco_friendly_family_with_NZ_Ecochick.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:29pm +12

Nat talks to Kim Mills and Dawn Fry from the popular podcast Musing Mommies

In this episode, they discuss:

  • How Kim and Dawn got started in podcasting
  • Their most popular podcast from their four years of recording
  • Making Mommy friends. misinterpretations and misunderstandings. 

You can check out Musing Mommies,

  • On the web:http://musingmommies.com/
  • On Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/musingmommies
  • On Twitter: https://twitter.com/@musingmommies
  • In iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/musing-mommies/id317846932
  • Using Stitcher Radio: http://app.stitcher.com/browse/feed/19058
  • On Pintererst: http://pinterest.com/mills_kimberly/musing-mommies/
Direct download: 69_Mummy_Friends_with_Musing_Mommies.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:46am +12

Check out this week's give away from Divine You:



In this episode:

  • Booking
  • Packing
  • Stick with a system
  • Adjust expectations
  • Safety first
  • Social etiquette with other families

Related posts:

Direct download: 68_Top_Tips_for_Travelling_with_a_Family.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:36pm +12

Ever wonder what gift to buy that is cool and good for the planet?  Have a listen to this Skype podcast where Nat talks to Lara Charles from Planet Goodness.

They are all about helping the community and the planet. www.planetgoodness.com

facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PlanetGoodness

Direct download: 67_Planet_Goodness.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:15pm +12

So, you've had your child and been at home for a little while and now you are ready to return to work. You explore the possibility of returning to the same job but on a part-time basis - it's possible, right?? A million women out there would tell you not. Or at least not at the same level you were working at before.

Here are some tips and things to consider when going back to work when you're a parent

  1. Level of responsibility, school hours job, working from home
  2. Delegate and out-source
  3. Set boundaries
  4. Lifestyle design

Related blog: http://wp.me/p2hs8p-P8

Direct download: 66_Is_it_possible_to_go_back_to_work_part-time_where_youre_a_parent.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:22pm +12

Here's our first product review podcast! Nat talks to Aaron Tweedie all the way from the USA where he is running a Kickstarter campaign for the 'Man-Pack'.

They discuss what is a man-pack and where did the idea come from, how Kickstarter works and then Nat gives some honest and helpful tips about the look, function and feel of the Man-Pack.

Related links:

Direct download: 65_Bonus_Episode_Aaron_Tweedie_Man-PACK.mp3
Category:Products -- posted at: 10:03pm +12

Following our honest and moving guest blog on miscarriage, we bring you this podcast interview on the topic of 'baby loss'.

Nat talks with grief educator, life and business coach Clare Ayers from www.peoplematters.net.nz. They discuss:

  • The different ways that people react to losing a baby.
  • How partners and friends can support families going through this experience.
  • The importance of talking about miscarriage to break the taboo.

Useful links:

  • http://www.ifonlytheytoldme.com/suffering-and-dealing-with-a-miscarriage/
  • http://sands.org.nz/
  • http://peoplematters.net.nz/Grief-Support--Education.html
Direct download: 64_Grief__Coping_with_Baby_Loss.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:52pm +12

Nat does her first solo podcast!

Balancing Business and Family

  1. Remember and revisit the reason you went into business. Flexible work schedule? More time with kids?
  2. Work Life Balance falacy?  Be present.
  3. Create Boundaries and stick to them! You can't be 'on' all the time. Turn off the computer and look your kids in the eye.
  4. Look after 'you' What are your 'ME' goals for this week?
  5. Don't try to do it allBe mindfull of the 80/20 rule Who are the happiest mums you know?
  6. Have Support Networks: e-groups or biz friends who can share your joys and challenges.
  7. Use Systems: Meal planning, Hootsuite etc
Direct download: 63_Balancing_Business__Family.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:18pm +12

It's a contentious subject!  Nat & Jacqui chat about the signs, symptoms and implications of sending kids or keeping them home.

  • Who's work is more important?
  • Consider other children and the caregivers
  • Trust your gut
  • Have a back up plan
  • Rules: Temperature, 48 hours after Ds & Vs
  • The basics of being healthy
  • Growing pains
  • Anxiety and Excitement
  • Role Modelling
  • Proactive healthcare

Related blog: http://www.ifonlytheytoldme.com/62

Direct download: 62_Can_your_child_attend_school_when_theyre_sick.mp3
Category:Parenting -- posted at: 9:15pm +12

If Only They'd Told Me is excited to welcome 'baby whisperer' Dorothy Waide back into the studio.

Today she talks to Nat about Toddlers: When to drop the nap, transitioning from a cot to a bed and when should you swap from a bottle to a sippy cup?  

Dorothy Waide has decades of experience as a Karitane Nurse and baby whisperer. When she's not travelling around NZ to Oh Baby! coffee catch ups with mums and babies, she is giving guidance and support to families in person as well as via Skype and over the phone. Nat says,

"Dorothy is a fountain of knowledge and has such a lovely manner. I wish I'd known about her when my kids were little".

For more, check out: http://www.babyhelp.co.nz

Related blogs & Podcasts:

Sleeping tips with Dorothy Waide: http://www.ifonlytheytoldme.com/baby-whisperer-dorothy-waide

Direct download: 61_Bottles_Big_Beds_and_Dropping_the_Nap_with_Dorothy_Waide.mp3
Category:Parenting -- posted at: 8:28pm +12

60: Tips for having a fab first year with baby

This week Nat and Jacqui share their 'top tips' for having a fabulous first year with baby. From the preggie and maternity stage through to newborn and baby stage, tips include things like: Taking a year off,  letting go of 'supermum', cherishing the moments and keeping things positive with the grandparents.

What are your top tips?

Related blogs and podcasts:

For our full list check out skinny scoop: http://www.skinnyscoop.com/list/ncutlerwelsh/tips-for-having-a-fab-first-year-with-baby

Direct download: 60_Tips_for_having_a_fab_first_year_with_baby.mp3
Category:Parenting -- posted at: 9:59pm +12

This week Jacqui and Nat reveal their top tips for supermarket shopping with the kids.

They discuss anecdotes and strategies for keeping kids safe and happy while staying sane, on task and on budget in the grocery store.  

Related blogs:

If Only They'd Told Me is a blog and podcast covering all the things you wish you'd been told about parenting and relationships in the early years. You can find us at:

Direct download: 59_Supermarket_Shopping_with_Kids.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:40pm +12

Vaginal Birth After Cesarean (VBAC) can be a concern for many second time mothers. So what's PBAC (Positive Birth After Cesarean) and how can it help?

Natalie Cutler-Welsh talks with Dr Michelle Wise, a Consultant Obstetrician and Gynaecologist, and Senior Lecturer at the Auckland University Faculty of Medical and Health Sciences.

Dr Michelle Wise:

Related Posts:

Direct download: VBAC_or_PBAC.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:00pm +12

In this Episode, Nat and Jacqui chat candidly about the social etiquette (the Do's and Don'ts) for visiting a friend with a newborn baby. They have tips for visitors: Book in, bring food and do something to help while you're there etc as well as tips for mum and dad. Sit back, have a listen, learn and laugh!

Related Blogs:

Also mentioned:

Comments welcome!

Direct download: 57_Dos_and_Donts_for_Visiting_a_Newborn_Baby.mp3
Category:Social -- posted at: 9:18pm +12

This week Nat talks to Megan and Miriam all the way from Boston, USA.

These lovely ladies co-wrote the book 'The Other Baby Book' and are making their e-book available for FREE in honour of Mother's Day so listen in to see how you can download your free copy!

Their book covers everything from relating to baby to self care to baby-led weaning. In this episode we discuss co-sleeping or 'bed sharing' and dispel some of the myths. 

Related Podcasts

Related Posts:

Direct download: 56_The_Other_Baby_Book.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:55pm +12

Personalities: Introvert and Extrovert

Sorry for the technical glitch a fortnight ago (episode 53) when we brought you the other half of this interview first. During that interview Nat discussed family dynamics with Family Coach and Director of Personality Dynamics, Sue Blair. This week we continue the coversation with (the correctly titled) "Introverts and Extroverts".

Sue is passionate about how understanding personality types can help us to thrive as parents and partners.

Knowing who we are and who our kids are can help us travel the parenting path more smoothly. It's largely about where you get your energy from rather than being loud or shy.

Click the link, sit back and enjoy!

Related links:

Personality Dynamics: http://www.personalitydynamics.co.nz

Related Podcasts and Blogs:  

Understanding your Child's Personality: http://www.ifonlytheytoldme.com/otter-beaver-lion-retriever-understanding-your-childs-personality/

Direct download: 55_Introvert__Extrovert_with_Sue_Blair.mp3
Category:Communication -- posted at: 10:13pm +12

How many parenting books do you find so good they're hard to put down once you start reading them? This was the experience Jacqui had when she read Eleanor Black's book "Confessions of a Coffee Group Dropout".Eleanor gives a refreshingly honest perspective of pregnancy and parenting and the expectations often felt by mothers in our modern society. She openly discusses how hard we can be on each other as parents and raises some great points about perspective. How important really is it to puree broccoli?In this chat, Jacqui and Eleanor briefly touch on parenting later in life, never getting anything finished, and balancing the pressures of family, home life and work. 

Eleanor describes her top 8 IOTTM pregnancy myths:

  1. You can eat as much as you want. 
  2. You will adore your baby bump
  3. Books about pregnancy are helpful and you should read as many as you can
  4. You can be fashionable
  5. You'll get special treatment
  6. Pregnant women have a lot in common
  7. You'll be rewarded with diamonds
  8. You will bounce back

Pick up a copy of Eleanor's book to read more about the realities of these myths. Also in this episode, we mention our latest giveaways and upcoming reviews of:





Direct download: 54_Eleanor_Black_Confessions_of_a_Coffee_Group_Dropout.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 2:42pm +12

Personalities: Managing Different Family Dynamics

Nat chats with Director of Personality Dynamics and Family Coach Sue Blair about family dynamics.

Sue is passionate about how understanding personality types can help us to thrive as parents and partners.

Knowing who we are and who our kids are can help us travel the parenting path more smoothly. It's largely about where you get your energy from rather than being loud or shy.

Click the link, sit back and enjoy!

Related links:

Related Podcasts and Blogs:  


IOTTM facebook: http://bit.ly/WEtx2S

Direct download: Personalities_Introvert_Extrovert_with_Sue_Blair.mp3
Category:Parenting -- posted at: 10:42pm +12

Parenting and relationships in the early years. Babies, sex and a cup of tea.

Jacqui and Nat give their tips on 'things to ponder when preparing for another baby'.

These include everything from; age gap, quality time, getting into baby mode, breaking the news, finding out the gender, relationship changes, childcare, the birth and help.


Direct download: 52_Top_Tips_for_Preparing_for_Another_Baby.mp3
Category:Parenting -- posted at: 9:02pm +12

51: Top Tips for Children and Technology

Nat was joined by husband Matt in the studio this week, to discuss 5 top tips for keeping children safe on-line and in front of screens. In the age of iPads, iPhones and the opportunity to be constantly 'plugged in', what are the impacts on our kids and how can we parents keep things positive?

Our 5 tips are:

  1. Be aware of screen time & content. Education vs.entertainment. Are your children just consuming or are they also creating?
  2. Be in the same room
  3. Know your devices, and how to restrict their access
  4. Who's device is who's? What are your family rules?
  5. Role model good behaviour

Online Resources

Screen time:

Chidproofing your iPad:


Direct download: 51-_Top_Tips_for_Children_and_Technology.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:11pm +12

Jacqui and Nat discuss 'Raising Girls' based on the talk by Stephen Biddulph at the Parenting Place.

As Steve says: ‘A girl catastrophe is happening’ and that the world has ‘become a very toxic place for our daughters’.  In the podcast we outline some of his tips on how to keep girls feeling happy and positive.

  • Auntie Campaign - get some positive female role models in your girls life
  • Help them find and keep their Spark
  • 14 is the new 18!! Things are happening at a younger age (sexual pressure, body image issues etc)


Direct download: 50_Raising_Girls.mp3
Category:Parenting -- posted at: 1:21pm +12

Nat talks to long-time friend and mother-of-four Danielle Paterson. Danielle lives in Toronto, Canada with her husband Matt and boys age 5 and 3, plus 14 month old twins. They discuss pregnancy, parenting and relationships with twins and specifically:

  • Carrying and caring for twins 
  • Giving your other child(ten) the love and attention they deserve
  • Prepping tips and getting 'room ready' for life with twins 
  • The reality of having a baby in NICU (Newborn Intensive Care Unit)
  • Strategies and tips to make your life as easy as possible
  • Getting whatever 'help' works for you: nanny, friend, relative, groceries delivered, cleaner…
  • Products you need two of for twins:  carrier, exersaucer, bounciette
  • Twin-specific products: Double stroller, double  'my breast friend' feeding pillow
  • Looking after your self and relationship with twins plus more.

Related posts:

Direct download: 48_Twins_Plus.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:32pm +12

Safe Sleep

Nat talks to Jude Clark from 'Change for our Children' about Safe Sleep.  The goal is to help reduce SUDI Sudden Unexpected Deaths in Infancy through greater awareness and practice. The 3 safe sleep principles are:

  1. Face up
  2. Face clear
  3. Smoke-free

They also discuss bed-sharing or 'co-sleeping', sleep aid products,  blankets, positioning, and how safe sleep changes with developmental stages.


Direct download: 48_Strategies_for_Safe_Sleeping.mp3
Category:Parenting -- posted at: 12:00am +12

Jacqui and Nat go out on the town and catch up with mother-of-two fashion store owner Kelly Coe about her gorgeous garments at 'Augustine International'.

Kelly gives us some tips on how to be a stylish mummy. It's all about getting out of the rut and embracing colour and shape by swapping your T-shirt for a floaty top or tunic. Dress it up with a chunky necklace or bag or dress it down by going accessory-free.

Having a style consult with a 'personal stylist' who takes into account colours, shapes and styles that best-suit you is another great way to look and feel great.  Rebecca and Megan from The Style Company http://www.thestylecompany.co.nz  highlight the impact of 'illusion dressing' where you draw the eye towards your best features and away from your 'flaws' or your least fave parts of your body.

It's so easy to get overwhelmed and consumed by motherhood so spending some time on yourself is important and often a bit of a luxury. Balance all that with surrounding yourself with great friends and enjoying the moments with your kids and you're bound to be a happy and stylish mummy.

Useful links:

Related Blogs:

Direct download: 47_How_to_be_a_Stylish_Mummy.mp3
Category:Style -- posted at: 8:43am +12

Direct download: 46_Thriving_After_Seperation.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:50am +12

45: Top Tips for Water Safety and Keeping Kids Swim Safe

Top Tips for Water Safety and Keeping Kids Swim Safe

Keeping kids safe around water is a major for all parents.  Nat talks to Lynn Cartwright, the Swim School Coordinator at Glen Innes Pool in Auckland, New Zealand.

What age should kids start and stop swim lessons?  How can we get kids more prepared and give them survival skills for being safe at the beach, river, lake and at home?

Top 5 tips:

  • Supervision
  • Proximity (Be there) 
  • Awareness and Knowledge
  • Water safety skills
  • Know your child's ability

Useful links:

Related blogs:


Direct download: 45_Top_Tips_for_Swim_Safety.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:45pm +12

How do you tell the difference between 'the baby blues' and true post natal depression? Everyone seems to know someone who's had it.

It's a slightly different tone on If Only They'd Told Me this week, as Jacquie shares a moving, real story of a family who has been through Post Natal Depression. 

Find out what happened and how you can recognise the signs in yourself and in those you care about. 

Some signs of post natal depression include:

  • Uncontrollable crying
  • Loss of interest in things you previously interested in
  • Negative thoughts
  • Self blame
  • Severe mood swings
  • Feeling numb
  • Feeling isolated
  • Tiredness, including desperately wanting to sleep, but not being able to
  • Thoughts of self harm or harming baby

ANY of these should be a warning signal. Get professional help or talk to someone if you have even one symptom. 

If you have a story (your own or someone you know of) and it would be helpful for others to know, we'd love to hear from you…



Direct download: 44_Post_Natal_Depression.mp3
Category:Parenting -- posted at: 10:42am +12

Part 2 of 'Parenting Twins'  

Michelle and Tim share their tips and stories about having twins.

Nat picks up where she left off last time by asking, about having twins, "do other people 'get it'?"

How you can help If Only They'd Told Me?

And we will get a small commission to put back into our blog and podcast

Upcoming Podcasts:

  • Post Natal Depression
  • Parenting One
  • The More the Merrier?
Direct download: 43_Twins_Chapter_2.mp3
Category:Parenting -- posted at: 2:43pm +12

Jo and Janine from 'Love Your Small Business' tell us about their Coaching Club for Mum entrepreneurs who want to hit their business goals faster but also free up more time and energy for life!

They give plenty of tools and tips for balancing the chaos of motherhood with business in a successful way without losing track of yourself and the other things that are important to you in your life.

Mumpreneurs worldwide can benefit from this e-course

Click on the affiliate links below to find out more. If you register through these links, you'll also be helping to support 'If Only They'd Told Me'.

Get It Done Mum Workshop *Feb 4/5: https://www.secureinfossl.com/affProgram/Get-it-Done-Mum-Workshop/69671

Get It Done Mum Coaching Club: https://www.secureinfossl.com/affProgram/Get-it-Done-Mum-Workshop/69671

Direct download: 42_Get_it_Done_Mum_Coaching_Club_for_Mumpreneurs.mp3
Category:Work -- posted at: 2:22pm +12

For the first time we have a couple in the studio together and they are talking about parenting twins. However their entertaining stories are relevant to all parents. 

Michelle and Tim have 7 year old, identical twin boys. They've made it through the 'early years' and they share some of their tips, coping strategies and experiences.

While Tim suggests booking friends who offer help, in to a specific time and date to help get through the 'dark ages', Michelle recommends writing a 'letter to yourself' at the end of your pregnancy, to look back on.

Related Podcasts & Blogs:

Helpful Websites:

Direct download: 41_Parenting_Twins_Chapter_1.mp3
Category:Parenting -- posted at: 9:24am +12

A couple of weeks ago, Nat and Matt talked about being a good host. As promised, this week we turn the tables and talk to Jacqui's very special visitor - her Mum!

Jacqui interviewed her Mum about being a visiting grandparent from overseas and they also discussed coping with being a grandparent from a distance. 

Jacqui's Mum, Magda Campbell is currently having her Gap Year. Jacqui's even convinced her to blog about it. Check out Gap Year Granny: http://gapyeargranny.blogspot.co.nz

Magda is visiting New Zealand from the UK as part of a 10 month backpacking trip. She's been staying with Jacqui in Auckland for the last month and is learning to be a grandparent again as the's normally only a 'Distant Grandparent'.

A couple of Magda's tips include, accept all the hugs and kisses you can while you're there to get them, and take the kids to the park. 'Run them ragged', she explains, 'they'll be more compliant that way!'.

Magda also recommends being yourself around the Grandchildren and to use Skype when you're not physically there.

Direct download: 40_Being_a_Good_Guest_and_a_Very_Special_Visitor.mp3
Category:Grandparents -- posted at: 12:00pm +12

Nat & Jacqui are in the studio together again, bringing in the New Year and discussing resolutions and goals for 2013. 

While some resolutions are more like themes or priorities, like 'be a better mother/wife/friend', others are measurable and time-related goals like 'runs 5km race by August 1st, 2013'. 

Top tip: Don't just create then shelve your resolutions. Share them with at least one other person, have them accessible and check back on them once a week.

Related links:

Direct download: 39_New_Years_Resolutions__Goals.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:01pm +12